Hallo... when something goes wrong who is the problem? Is it you or the weather or the other person across the street? I wonder how many times it can be an outside factor or whether it is always internal. So, I decided to run a little self experiment, it being 2005 and a good time to change (try to change sounds good too). The next time I am told, 'you are the problem' - hopefully not soon, I will remove myself from the situation. No words, no argument, no nothing, just a trot to greener pastures. I mean, why subject oneself to a knowingly disturbing situation, right? A toast to a new outlook... hear hear!!
-zensufi-
January 3, 2005
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Dear Zensufi
Here's another thought -- one which has helped me a lot. When someone says or suggests, "you are the problem," I can always ask myself this one good question, "Is it true?" After I answer that question, then I can decide what I want to do. Sometimes it is just as you say, a trot to greener pastures; other times I find out something really important, even if a little painful. And sometimes (this is the toughest) there is something PARTLY true. That one usually means I have to deal with real complexity in the relationship.
Anyway, here's my toast, too. Have a wonderful new year!
Dan
Hi Zensufi, insurance companies called the recent tsunami, "an act of god". Whenever there is a problem, I always say it is "fated", which is a lesser version of "an act of God" and there is always a reason for it to happen. So, no one is to be blamed. All will be peaceful. Cheers!!!
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