October 18, 2008

Customer Care in 2020

A friend just emailed me this...

Customer Care in 2020

Operator : 'Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your...'

Customer: 'Helloo, can I order..'

Operator : 'Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?'

Customer: 'It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610'

Operator : 'OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?'

Customer: 'Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : 'We are connected to the system Sir'

Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza...'

Operator : 'That's not a good idea Sir'

Customer: 'How come?'

Operator : 'According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir'

Customer: 'What?... What do you recommend then?'

Operator : 'Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'

Customer: 'How do you know for sure?'

Operator : 'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir'

Customer: 'OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?'

Operator : 'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99'

Customer: 'Can I pay by! credit card?'

Operator : 'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.'

Customer: 'I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives'

Operator : 'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today'

Customer: 'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?'

Operator : 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...'

Customer: ' What!'

Operator : 'According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123...'

Customer: ' ????'

Operator : 'Is there anything else Sir?'

Customer: 'Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?'

Operator : 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... '

Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^

Operator : 'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?'

Customer: [Faints]

The End

October 16, 2008

Economy Bombs, Advertising Booms!

Wall Street crisis? What crisis? We folks are in Digital Advertising and there ain't no crisis here! Uh, right? The economy bombs and advertising booms, right again?

Yup, your business needs to get noticed in the storm through the wind and rain so... you will pitch in some dollars to buy advertising space to Be Different... to Stand Out.

That is what the researchers (several different reports say so) tell us and I am counting on them being 100% right, otherwise, we Ad folks will also have to ride the storm in a canoe or kayak - whatever we can find.

In the meantime, I am going to go assist peoples' businesses get their message noticed via our digital signage advertising medium. Come join us...